Sweet on the outside,
Dark-humored on the in.

I was voted class nerd and told I was too nice in my peer reviews, but then I made a campaign for Blaze Pizza called “The Slice Before The Slice” based on the insight that people who don’t like pizza are psychopaths and I wrote a headline that went “800-degrees burns off the fingerprints” and now everyone’s scared of me.

let’s play 5 truths and a lie.

1. I spent 4 months on a tour bus with Aaron Carter.

2. I almost went to jail in China.

3. I think marshmallows are best eaten stale or burnt to a crisp.

4. I have a tattoo of Tony The Tiger and it’s great.

5. I drove a bobcat tractor down a residential street when I was 13.

6. My grandmother had 12 siblings and 2 got kidnapped.